According to Dychtwald’s study, 70% of women who kept a secret stash said it was a hedge against economic disaster—specifically, against financial emergency (52%) or desertion by her partner (18%). I found similar results for women in a study I did interviewing men and women about managing money within a marriage.
Initially, women told me they believed in being open and honest about money, but after nineteen minutes many stopped saying what they consciously believed and shared (frequently without realizing it!) what they really felt! Many said they didn’t trust their husbands to be responsible and, while most had no specific reason, others had trust issues related to abuse of alcohol or drugs, gambling, lack of impulse control or always needing to be the big spender to impress others.
Many women simply resented their husbands questioning their spending, especially when the woman was the primary earner. If husbands knew there was more money available, one woman said her husband would just get more “toys” and another said her husband would interpret that as him having more freedom to just leave his job.
When women felt their values differed from their husbands, especially with regard to children and parents, they hid money so they could secretly do what felt right to them. Examples included paying on the sly for their children’s education or providing extra living expenses, giving financial help to a parent and splurging on their daughter’s prom dress or wedding. Are you hiding money or keeping money secrets from your significant other? Would your relationship benefit from being more open and trusting?
Money Saving Tips
Inter-generational socializing and shopping can have big benefits. Not only does it provide opportunities to share experiences and build memories, it can save money! Some supermarkets and department stores offer senior discounts of 5-15% one day a week. Seniors can get a lifetime pass for $10 to National Parks that covers everyone in the car. Check for senior bargains at state parks as well.
What made you smile today?
What made you proud of your money choices today?