If you are in a relationship and you argue about money, you’re not alone! People think that money is one of the top reasons for conflict in relationships, but money is not really the issue. Because money represents security, status, freedom, love, success and many other emotional needs, arguments about money may be only the tip of the iceberg. Your awareness of the underlying issues is critical to resolving what appears to be a money conflict.
For example, when Edie married Matt she loved that he took control of their finances. She felt protected, totally trusted him and never questioned him. All was great until about 15 years later when she decided to get a college degree and be a better informed, more equal partner in making decisions. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him but rather it was about her own growth. However, Matt saw it as being challenged and resented Edie’s questions. He resisted having conversations with her about their money and, as a result, the tension between them began to mount.
They had the opportunity to play with Money Habitudes™ cards when friends brought them home from a program they attended. When they did the cards it was clear that money represented security to both Matt and Edie. Matt had no “free spirit” cards that would have enabled him to lighten up and just go with the flow a bit, so he interpreted her interest as a threat. When he saw that Edie also valued security it took him by surprise and it changed the conversation. Instead of resenting her, he began to take pride in her interest and encourage it. Edie also felt much more prepared to take care of their family finances if there was any emergency.
Do you need to have a good talk about money with another person? If so, here is a shameless plug that you try Money Habitudes™ cards to make it fun, non-threatening and painless to talk about money and discover the real issues.
Money Saving Tip
What made you smile today?
What made you proud of your money choices today?